in office

shit bored in office.. its just 9' .. no sign of the usual degenerates. everythign hazy. should be marked radioactive or toxic after last nights events.. cant move a muscle.... NEIGHHHHHH!!!! sweet!

solution for boredom while flying.

Whenever I fly, I always buy a one-way ticket. I’m not very optimistic. Here’s a game i like to play while onboard a plane:
Guess the Terrorist. It’s a bittersweet game. If you lose, you live. If you win…
Another thing I like to do when flying: Stand in the aisle and jump. If the plane is going fast enough, I can get to the bathroom in one leap. Try it.
Why I love flying: It’s the only time when you can eat in Delhi and then crap it out in bangalore.

and the question which has bothered me ever since i first travelled in a plane and still intrigues me while travelling -What does an ant think when he looks out an airplane window?

super life tips and advice for people

Occasionally masturbate with your left hand.
There are three bonuses:
1) It’ll feel like you’re getting a handjob from a stranger.
2) With time, you could become ambidextrous.
3) It’ll free your dominant hand for the mouse.

more life tips and advice for people who aspire for NIFT(or who have gotten through

this advice comes very strongly from me since i have gone through the teriible feeling u can only imagine of studying in the god forsaken college..i am a homophobe so i have compiled some activities fo fellow homophobes who might want to avoid.They might seem innocuous but, brother, if you don’t watch it you could be sharing quality time with elton john.

Eating bananas. What else needs to be said? You might as well be sucking cock. A rather large, delicious, potassium-filled cock. If you are a homophobe, refrain from eating or handling the big yellow fruit in any way. It only leads to fellatio.

Wiping your ass. Think about it. It’s no secret — the ass is second only to the cock in the homosexual pantheon of lovemaking. And it is my firm belief that ass-wiping is the “gateway drug” to man-on-man anal sex.

Praying. I would not advise prayer for any God-fearing homophobe. One, you’re on your knees: the so-called second position in man-on-man love. Two, you’re looking up to an omniscient, father type. Three, altar boys. It all adds up to “gay.”

Applying Chapstick. Next step, lipstick…then panties, a bra and fishnet stockings. Before you know it, you go from moist lips to lopping off your cock and calling yourself Tula. Real men, like cowboys and hobos, have dry, chapped lips.

Eating creme donuts. Cream filling strongly resembles jizz. Do yourself a favor and stick with a manly coffee roll, and forget the napkin.

back in buisness

i told youi'll be back as soon as i get comfortable at office.i was also on the hunt for the bird who pooped on my brand-new shirt, and that too contributed to some time away from blogging.
Other than that, the posts should be pouring in from here on.

panic at the toilet

Whenever I use the bathroom at work I panic. No, I don’t worry that I won’t make it to the toilet, or that I’m going to catch someone “peeking,” or that I’m going to slip and my mouth is going to fall on some guy’s dong. I worry that I’m going to be a victim of mistaken identity. Here’s the scenario: I walk into an empty bathroom and it reeks to high heaven, like the last guy in there had a Mexican atomic bomb drop out his ass. Then, as I’m walking out, in walks someone else, who, naturally, thinks I’m the stinky culprit. When this happens, I feel like one of those guys who spends 10 years on death row for a crime he didn’t commit. Oh, the injustice!

life tips and advice for the common man

1. 
   While on safari, never wear leopard print.
2. 
   The absolute, surefire way of getting out of jury duty: Confess to whatever crime the defendant is accused of.
3. 
   If a child asks you where babies come from, never draw a picture.
4. 
   Here’s how you can save money on magazine subscriptions: Get AIDS…and then read all the magazines at the doctor’s office for free!